now that casey got me into the whole relationships topic.
heres what there is to know about me....:
i'm independant
i don't like clingy boys. give me my space and don't nag me.
no i'm not only attracted to guys who look rough casey.
and he's pretty much right about this:

kcdilla23 (12:44:21 AM): and like to play games with guys
AsHalLeE84 (12:44:27 AM): i dont
AsHalLeE84 (12:44:38 AM): i usually just get screwed over
AsHalLeE84 (12:44:43 AM): and i dont go for guys that often
AsHalLeE84 (12:44:52 AM): im not one of those girls who has to have a bf all the time to make them happy
kcdilla23 (12:45:37 AM): no
kcdilla23 (12:45:39 AM): i understand
kcdilla23 (12:45:50 AM): i do feel like im happier when i do though
AsHalLeE84 (12:47:49 AM): idk
kcdilla23 (12:47:55 AM): i think
kcdilla23 (12:47:58 AM): u havent met a guy
AsHalLeE84 (12:48:00 AM): i never get that far happiness wise xx was the one ive liked the most and that was crappy ew.
kcdilla23 (12:48:01 AM): who treats u right
AsHalLeE84 (12:48:07 AM): thats pretty much it
kcdilla23 (12:48:12 AM): i know
kcdilla23 (12:48:19 AM): what u dnt know ashlaleey about me
kcdilla23 (12:48:28 AM): im also a romance counselor

mhmmm
get me chocolate on valentines day? its my half birthday?
im a hopeless romantic. possibly.
nice going casey

jimi is leaving that means to denver bye bye friends.
nomore fun
ec comes on sunday
ew at that.
maybe ill just go to friendsville for the weekend
i need me some bff and boopsta! and the rest.
dont give yourself tattoes dusty its a bad idea
night night

so. i got a gps for christmas ya for road trips and shows. emmure is tuesday at club tinks with alex ^_^ wheeps!

redbeard and carly and i had fun with his camera and strobes over the weekend. http://www.flickr.com/photos/theredbeard/page1/

oh yah and happy new years. i spent mine at a show in milltown. jimi came home from denver ^_^ christie stayed that night end of story.

back to college sunday? :/

christmas

so i really havent been writing in here because i've been soooo busy.
its christmas time so of course i went to family parties and stuff spent time with sam and meggles. got a gps system for road trips and what not. hung out with kaylee and carly for a bit. supposed to hang out with redbeard.

last night i went with casey,cameron,brendan,zach,roger,adam, and catie to see set your goals, and four year strong and scranton. then felt like complete garbage until i refueled with pretzels and blue!! powerade at caseys. then we headed over to another random pop/punk show to pick up some kids and back to dustys for the after partyness. still warn out. apparently we missed out at a&w with the rest of the crew. and zachs booty shorts.

caseys friends band played a sweet little cover of T.I.'s you can have whatever you like. which made me happy.

i just remember julian complaining about how he wanted to go see phish in concert and me responding.."julian i saw fish once!!! in a lake." ahaha was that out of it. then woke up this morning real late. said my good byes to the toras because they set off for tour. i should have gone down with everyone this week. but maybe we'll go down to maryland to see the boys play a show. dusty i'll pitch in for gas ^-^ road trrriippp.

what else is new ... im on break from college until the fifth. i passed math. and got money for it.. wheeps!!! i dont want to go back to school. but atleast the day i get back to school alex and i are going back down to scranton to see emmure. then bailey and i are hopefullly going to see the maine and we the kings for her birthday presentness.

maybe i'll be going to dustys for new years since everyones coming home to celebrate it. and i'm not trying to wear a bum hat. i only wore my beanie today b/c my hair was gross. sorry that i don't fit the bum beanie standars of brendan and zach. just saying. no pickin.

carly and are going to wal mart soon maybe i'll find some sweet leg warmers like amy told me about :D ah then maybe a photoshoot with red beard who knowssss!?!

so its been a tough week.
i though when bad things happen.
karma is supposed to be like whoaaa heres some awesome things?
yah but that didnt happen.
atleast finals are over.
i have bad luck. familiy is not fun right now. andddd

oh and albany you suck
ice storms you suck more.
end of story.

time for change.

So I really would like some changes in my life. That means changing for the better. It isn't intended for anyone but me. I'm not trying to impress anyone with the way I choose to live and present myself, because in reality I could careless what anybody else thinks of me. I live to please myself, not the world. I think that people who don't show appreciation for time spent with them aren't very good friends. I really don't like to go home and find that a majority of the people that I used to spend every moment with have changed for the worse. They made bad life choices and aren't as fun as they used to be. OR they just become so involved with their bfs/gfs and they are that obsessed that they can't make time for what used to be their "best friend."

I think they need to grow up. I think it is time for me the move on and leave alot of people behind and appreciate the ones who have always been there alot more, then rather to waste my time. I have come to find how i've turned into one of those people who don't give many chances out. Even with letting love in. I've pushed people away because I've been pushed away as well way too many times then some people said i've deserved. Anyone can say that theres many people out there and that I'm such a good person blah blah blah etc. In reality nobody cares about that anymore our generation has no class. Being played around with alot is unhealthy for the heart and its made me push people away who try to get close. I think i've become my own best friend and its not a good thing to do. Idk I just thought about way too many things last night. So really theres few people I like to spend time with now that nobodys fun. I remember when we were all so crazy and had the best times. OH and I NEEEED to go viist Alyssa and Dj really bad. I miss them alot and Redbeard tooo. I want to jump on the trampoline and eat vegetarian chicken patties with redbeard and go do photoshoots and climb rock walls. i'd rather
just drive 45 mins to Binghamton to hang out at Dustys and see everyone there atleast they still know how to have a good time without being lame. I promised Zach I'd come up and rage. should be some good times.

I'm really stoked on people who can sense that something is wrong, and are there to put a smile upon my face. Zach helped a bit last night. and even did Matt who idk why was awake at 5 am sitll

I really still don't know about the whole concept of college yet. I finallly made it through the first half of freshmen wriitng and completed a 20 page paper. bleh but whatever. I feel alot of people here only ACT like my friend for certain reasons unmentionable. I wish I'd fine more time for fun. I need to get a job. then I can escape more often. I want to go visit the Jersey kids but I never have any money!

Last night was the Holiday and I didn't have as much fun as I'd expected. Courtney left early and then the rest of the night was completely random. Steves friends who were visiting got alit rowdy and ended up in jail. Then the poor kids had no idea what to do from there. Sucked. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to which was lame psssst wheeps! n prom kicked the holiday ball in the butt so yah. id rather go camping at bobbys hut after then a bunch of randomness like last night. i made new friends this weekend sam and maddie and everyone and then Chandler. I ran into him quite a few times after i did with tim. he kept telling me that my ears wouldn't stop popping b/c i had aides. which isn't true. i'm pretty sure. but he said hes never ever coming back to ec. so we cannot rock out to jump on it and kick butt. So pssst n that but he almost made ryan jump out of a window. Which he actually opened on the to jump from the third story. bad idea. ryan dosen't let me play dj so he sucks. hes a computer hog and likes too much basshunter.

toni and i got pudgies last night mmmmm! and i got stalked in the dandy by some guys like to party. it was madd creepy. i think they were like 28ish. then maddie and i crawled up 3 flights of stairs just for fun and ran around perry. we were that bored. n had that much energy. the whole n ight started in ando with steve and his friends anddd thats last night summed up in randomness.

Yesturday Courtney Brandii and i went to the boys basketball game for a little bit and then over to the holiday fest at makenzies. Courtney and I made a sweeeeeeet ginger break house. but i Kind of got a big tummy ache and was up late with a sugar high. oops :x. haha. but check it out. We did however manage to score the grinch from the school library oh xmas movies.

I stole the rest of the candy and then ate some today. That was also a bad idea. But atleast I finished most of what needs to be done this week. Im just not looking forward to tests ewwww. Atleast the gummy bears cheered me up a bit.

Today I slept quite a bit then woke up in went to dinner and found Ryan since all the girls in my hallway were apparently hiding in a back corner somewhere. Then ran over to ando to find my Christie baby who came to visit Brad and I :). We drove around town blaring four year strong and lady m. Oh and the banana pancakes and luv addict. Was a good time. Then i went to encore with Dan. and i felt like it was never going to end. It was called the chambers singers but it was mostly just piano and i felt like i was going to fall into a trance or something. Atleast it was somewhat peaceful. OH and i rocked a sailor hat i was just that bored.

tomorrow is my last day of classes before finals and then break. :) ehehehe im stoked to go to albany with my girls then to saratoga ? It'll be so nice to get out of elmira and listen to some good music and rage. oh and

Tim Wagner rocked this jacket once. I had to . ^-^ haha.

whoaaa

So i finally got a blog. i like updating stuff and this i suppose will help me when i need a break from writing all these papers. i just got back to school yesturday. and i'm already dreading it. ec isn't so bad.. im just incredibly lazy. thanksgiving break was a good time. i ran into so many people it was crazy.friday that i got back to home i just passsed out.cant remember much from the weekend.

Tuesday i went up the cerretani's to hang out with nickolas bffsta, jimi, britney, alanna, and anthony.alanna and i were quite amused by anthony's war game and the strange stuff they shouted. we came up with the idea of wii crash bandicoot. cuz then you could jump away from the ant eaters! and actually have to jump.ohmhg cant wait for christmas break so i can go home and see everyone again.

Chilled for most of the break and just relaxed. went shopping with the parents and such.saturday i went to binghamton to visit dusty, paul, and brendans new house.its quite lovely. i just dont like the busy street its on and the fish market below paul's room haha. oh and the creeper next door.oh and i got to see casey bffsta, catie, amy, rick, brendan, which was nice. Dusty taught me how to use the Devil's yoyo then we listened to old records and everyone shared stories. No raging just a chill night.

amy, melissa, and i ran on a coffee trip. and got stuck behind these old ladies in the middle of binghamton. they had a sloth driver. and we somehow ran into them again by arbys wayy over near bcc. ahhh guess you had to be there and pick on them as well and the snowman. jackfrost really wants his snow. or he'll pop a glock. ---really that probably means alot of nothing to most people.

Kyle, Karlee, and I went to the christmas parade. It was way to cold so we just walked around and found a bunch of kids I graduated with. When Kyle's car was finally unblocked by the parade Karlee and I left to go get Coffee from the Cafe. Then Krash and I went to the park to get a gag picture with Santa but nopee. the line was all the way down the street. So we took pictures with the inflatable christmas decorations instead. Ryan was too cool to let us kidnapp him so we sat in my car in sang happy birthday to Jimi since we couldn't drive to Ithaca for his Birthday party. Sorry goobsta! Then sang happy birthday to a few other random people.

Albany is in the plans, Karlee, Korin and I are going up the day of finals to have good times

Now i have to get back to writing my stupid reflection eessay for freshman core. ew. then to take cheesecake to tim and dylan.... ^-^